Notes from the River

Today, I write to you from an alley off of Sherman Way deep in the West Valley, where I’ve been standing for the last eight hours.

I’m doing what’s called a “lock up”, when production assistants create a perimeter around a movie or TV set to stop crew members and passersby from walking into the shot. It’s such a crucial part of the filmmaking process that they pay us minimum wage to do it.

Maintaining an effective lock up requires a delicate combination of people skills, assertiveness, and a thorough understanding of the filmmaking process. These skills are even more crucial when we’re tasked with the lives of the public when running stunts.

Last week, a disgruntled hiker asked me to personally list everything we were allowed to do per our filming permit. He walked away from me in anger when I told him I hadn’t personally read the permit.

A very angry woman once yelled “You’re not the police” at me after I politely told her we were shooting a stunt and she would be run over by a car if she walked past me.

One final story. I was locking up during helicopter stunts. A jogger shoved me aside when I told him to stop running. When he looked up and saw the helicopter’s aggressive aerial maneuvers, he turned around and jogged back past me. I told you so! I guess I don’t really blame the guy, he’s never been told no in his life. Clearly the sight of an exhausted and sunburned young woman pleading with him to consider his safety was unfair.

I’m not saying that we are doing God’s work – we’re just keeping the public safe while also being an integral part of the creative filmmaking process.

And to those we should replace films made by humans with AI slop, I say, Chat GPT could never drink way too much caffeine and politely ask strangers not to walk into the shot.