Dear Readers,
It’s been almost a month since I last posted, and as I’m aware that you’re all waiting with bated breath for my explanation, I thought I’d outline it below.
- I was busy working
- I was in time out
- I took shrooms in J Tree and saw God, she says hi
- I hiked the Pacific Crest Trail with a polyamorous hiking influencer couple who didn’t shower (to be clear, my relationship with the couple was entirely platonic, if you could even call it that)
- I was busy watching the entirety of Sandra Bullock’s filmography
- Every time I opened my laptop to write, I was visited by an apparition who told me that my time was better spent doomscrolling on my phone
- I got really into fantasy football? – oh wait, no, I mean March Madness, right?
- I was reading up on postmodernism
- I was moonlighting as an art/culture columnist for a trendy online publication, writing articles such as “Why the First Three Seasons of Sex and the City Was Groundbreaking Television That Also Changed Feminism for the Better”
- I just didn’t feel like it
- I was mourning the person I could have been
- I was reading the Wikipedia article for WWII
- I was deeply depressed that Marty Supreme didn’t win any Oscars, and it took a long time to get over it
I promise I will be writing more very soon!
Notes from the River 
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