Notes from the River

Move over, AI and corruption! Here are some more pressing matters that need immediate legislative attention.

• People at Costco who stand in the center of the aisle
• Competitive cheerleading (it seems too intense and competitive for young women)
• Whatever the hell is in Airheads
• Ozempic
• LED Headlights
• Lifted trucks
• SUVs and Hummers (no civilian needs a car that large)
• Mechanics who talk down to women (even if I have no clue what I’m talking about)
• Christiano Ronaldo
• People who take their children to breweries, and then refuse to supervise them, while they get drunk
• Men who think women don’t know anything about movies, or music, or art, or any other wildly popular hobby
• People who don’t like Fleetwood Mac
• The NFL
• The current administration
• How many appliances are allowed to break in your apartment in one week (my current record is three)
• The King of England
• Planned obsolescence and enshittification
• Waymo
• Parents who let their children own more than two Labubus
• People from New Jersey who won’t shut up about New Jersey
• Oklahoma
• Broadway producers who turn random movies into musicals
• Weaboos

To be continued on a later post.